Just the Hueco You Are

I had been in New York for a few months when I first met Morgan. She seemed interesting and strong and extremely well-connected in the gym (I still don’t understand how she knows every climber in New York and the tri-state area), but I was nervous and have terrible follow-through so our friendship didn’t really take off until Quarantine (per my previous post). 

Fast-forward six months and I’m planning a road trip. Behind the scenes, Morgan laments to her fiance, Philipp, that she wishes she could take the time to do a van trip like me. Philipp--philosopher that he is--asks, “Why don’t you?” Duh. And the rest is history--no wait--the rest is happening right now!

We spent last week in Hueco Tanks, a premier bouldering destination located about 30 miles northeast of El Paso, Texas. The mountains here were formed with the help of volcanic eruptions followed by hundreds of years of limestone erosion, which resulted in a huge field of hard, granite-like boulders studded with hollows, or huecos. The huecos trap rainwater in the wet season, making the park an oasis amidst the Chihuahuan Desert. 

For my non-climber readers, a bit of context: Bouldering is graded on a V-scale, with V0 being the easiest, V1 a step harder, and so on. The hardest boulder problem is suggested to be a V17 (#goals??), and my limit right now is an intermediate V4 or V5 outdoors (depending on if I’m feeling strong that day and if conditions are right and if the stars are aligned, etc etc). Grades can be a helpful way to gauge progress, but it’s really easy for me to fall into a toxic game of comparisons if I think too much about them. I have to remind myself a lot that grades are highly subjective and don’t holistically quantify my ability as a climber (or a person), but I’ll admit some days prove more difficult to remember this than others. 

I had it in my head that Hueco Tanks was going to be a very humbling experience. I’m not really feeling that strong at the moment and conditions are h o t in the desert (not sure about the alignment of the stars but I’d be willing to bet that they are not). What’s more, I’m climbing and traveling with Morgan, who is incredibly strong (and also h o t t), so there are a lot of factors that I thought might contribute to me feeling kind of bad about myself. If you can read between the lines in my last blog post, you might have detected the anxiety I was feeling prior to arriving in Hueco. 

We hired a guide (shout out to Albert from Sessions Climbing & Guiding!) to take us through the access-restricted side of the park. Albert is a well-seasoned (read: old (just kidding (but not really))) climber who has been sending big rigs for over 20 years in Hueco Tanks and around the globe. He now owns and operates a guiding service in the park, and while I can’t say how our experience with him compares with that of his other clients, I do know that his knowledge, encouragement, and literal support (thank you for the Power Spot) gave so much magic and life--and sends!--to this visit to Hueco.

Morgan totally crushed it (congrats on your first (of many) epic send of the trip!), and I made good strides on some super fun routes! Obviously, I’m still struggling with self-doubt and managing my expectations and feeling inadequate in climbing (and in everything else, to be real), but I left Hueco Tanks remembering why I love this sport and feeling so grateful for the opportunity to participate in it in the way that I am. I’ll keep trying hard and pushing my limits, and one day (hopefully very soon) I’ll come back to send my projects and find some new ones, too. 

Thank you, Albert, for sharing your time, perspective, and enthusiasm with us this week. We’ll see you on the next trip to El Paso! 

Las Vegas, here we come!